As a recent divorcee, he had begun a new relationship with a widow and at the time they dated, thought that he had finally found “the one.” He felt like his ex-wife was never really his soul mate and that his soul mate was still out there, and it was Terry (also a fake name to protect identities).
Parents can and should, of course, acknowledge and even sympathize with their children’s feelings, but at the same time sensitively go ahead and fulfill their own needs.
The fact that this man cannot or will not put his — and your — needs ahead of his children’s discomfort does not bode well for your desire for an ongoing relationship.
The author shall not be responsible or liable for any loss, injury or damage arising from any information or suggestion in this column. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to TODAY.
Her most recent book is “The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life” (Rodale).
A parent, however, is entitled to have a life, and doesn’t need a child’s approval or permission.
It is healthy for young widows and widowers to pair off again.
Certainly, there are adult children who have difficulty accepting the fact that a widowed parent might want a new partner.
Even adults can react in emotionally childlike ways, feeling crushed at the thought their beloved parent would be replaced or forgotten.
But should widowers and widows dating divorcees have to worry about their relationship? And if divorced, should they only date other divorcees?