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Can the two of you exist in a relatively socially isolated situation for some time?Losing a long-term partner, even if things feel bad, is still a loss and needs to be grieved.

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Thinking about this, you may wonder what the chances are that a relationship that starts as an affair will succeed.

Pitfalls of Affair Relationships Relationships that start as affairs have many strikes against them. They can arise out of an urgent emotional need, a need so urgent that a thoughtful process of getting to know someone and assessing what kind of partnership the two of you would have is not part of the bonding process.

New lovers vary on how willing and able they are to cope with your grief over losing your partner.

You may stuff these feelings in order to maintain the new relationship, only to discover down the line that you have many unresolved feelings about your partner that are interfering in your new relationship.

If you deal with the disillusionment by betraying the commitment you have made, then you may not have the tools to navigate this stage which is waiting for you down the road in your new relationship.

Affair Relationships That Have a Better Chance of Success If, however, your primary relationship/marriage was somehow “wrong” from the beginning; if one or both of you weren’t in love, if it was a marriage of convenience, or if it has been mostly miserable or abusive, if it was simply to escape loneliness or have children, that is a different story.Succumbing to the fantasy that the new relationship will be free of conflict or other emotional difficulties can be a setup for another failed relationship.We tend to repeat patterns over and over until we come to understand ourselves.That is because almost all relationships follow a predictable course of developmental stages, all at some point going through a period of disillusionment.If you can get through this difficult phase, you have the potential of entering into a mature, dependable and sustaining love based much more on reality and much less on romantic idealization.(For an update on this statistic go to “Can Relationships That Start as Affairs Succeed?

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