It would start with an innocent question, “How’s it going with the girls? “Keep them guessing,” he would advise, and “play the field.” It was never vulgar or insulting, just paternalistic, old-world thinking that didn’t align with how I hoped my sons would view relationships.
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Handsome and warm, he told me about how he had immigrated from northern Spain to get his master’s degree in restaurant management from Cornell.
He had a fierce love for his country but had been a Brooklynite for the past 30 years.
When we had started dating, I had found Avie to be an open-hearted person.
I had enjoyed trying different cuisines and learning about new wines with him.
I told Avie that I needed him to learn as we moved forward together.
I asked him specifically to stop using heterosexual relationships as a default.
He would avert his eyes when he saw two men holding hands on the street. He remained devoted to my boys and to me, but in the end, his deeply ingrained reactions to our gay-positive world were too powerful for him to overcome and for me to ignore.
He would still give my boys a wink and an elbow when he would check in about their “love lives.” Avie did not seem to understand that my children had not lived in a world where anyone felt sorry for them because they had two moms. READ MORE: Rom-coms still don’t believe you can find love online I used to be quiet about the fact that I perform abortions.
As if to compensate for his lifelong immersion in our women’s world, Luca took on a John Wayne kind of posturing.