This Arizona rehab prescribes high doses of AA meetings and backpacking for young guys who not only need to get sober, but also learn the basics (think cooking and cleaning) of living in the real world.
Capo By The Sea offers an executive rehab program complete with medical detox and a focus on dual-diagnosis issues, as well as an outpatient option in an environment that exudes the kind of beach house optimism one would expect from an Orange County recovery outfit.
Rosalyn Dischiavo, a sexologist and licensed addiction counselor, has a cheerier outlook: “There is another, more optimistic truth about love in early sobriety: it shows that you are healing. Date like it's 1955, whether it's with someone new, or with your current partner or spouse. Belisa Vranich—a clinical psychologist specializing in sex and relationships—all agree that there is no reason why addicts and alcoholics shouldn’t be dating other addicts and alcoholics.
If I had a Higher Power, it was helping other people and getting out of my head and out of this “me” mentality—the selfishness that you have when you’re a using alcoholic.
I think it’s no coincidence I met my wife while I was volunteering, had no time for myself, and dating was the last thing on my mind.” Patti, a 27-year-old from New York with four years of sobriety in NA, says that after getting sober, she found it hard not to be drawn to the same kind of train wreck relationships of her using years.
Dating is even more complicated for individuals in early recovery.
Early addiction recovery is a challenging time, with many potential pitfalls.
While Mary, a 26-year-old former heroin addict in Oakland, agrees with this assessment, she also admits that staying single in sobriety—particularly during the first year—is challenging.
“I only have a few months, and probably shouldn’t be dating anyone,” she confesses. It’s really hard to stay single when you feel like you’re giving up so much other stuff at the same time.” Dr. Falling in love is a sign that you are being restored to health.” Take it very, very slow.But when he finally entered the realm of sober dating, it was with a good chunk of sobriety under his belt, a strong program and a great relationship with his sponsor.Did that mean he immediately dated “appropriately” and “healthily”? “I spent five years dating messed up speed freaks and growing pot for a living.Date like it's 1955, whether it's with someone new, or with your current partner or spouse.Go to the movies, take a walk in the park, go skiing together, but slow down and give the intimacy a chance to develop.“'Two sickies don’t make a welly,’ my 80-year-old sponsor used to say.” According to James, a 33-year-old photographer from Los Angeles who’s been sober for eight years, when he first came to AA he listened to what his sponsor told him and religiously avoided dating women in the program.