I’d had some personal setbacks which had led me to be content with being alone for a while (and possibly forever). And then I got a call from my Chipotle loving, hilarious friend Lauri (don’t spell Lauri with an “e” or she’ll de-friend you! I mean sure I had been taking a break from dating since I moved to Los Angeles — a TWO YEAR break, but who was PHEW! So I used a fake email address and took five minutes and created what I thought was a ridiculous, insane person nobody would take seriously.
“Hey, love just doesn’t happen for some people” is what I kept telling myself.
These are 25 Online Dating Sites You Want No Part Of.
We have scoured the Internet for the lamest, vainest and strangest online dating sites the web has to offer, and trust us, you are going to want to run as fast as your avatar's digital feet can carry you in the other direction.
You might find love online, we just don't think you'll find it here.
They enjoy getting closer to you but don’t worry about where the relationship is “going.” They give generously but never expect to be all things for you. However, the single option is often left out of the discussion.
They even decrease stress and help you live longer. Whether it’s embarking on an adventure, taking a new career step, or even just staying home all weekend with a good book and your phone turned off, you won’t hurt anyone by doing so and you won’t owe anyone an explanation. Snoring, blanket hogging, restlessness, extended limbs, incompatible schedules……sharing a bed with another person is not always the sweet, eight-hour love cuddle we would like it to be. And yet, in a time of intense political discourse about marriage and family, single people very much need to be understood and defended.
Even in recent history, our capitalist system has been facilitated almost entirely by married duos consisting of a woman who stays at home and a man who works. You negotiate a lot when you commit to another person, in order to consider both people’s needs and wants.
In such a system, a woman is entirely financially dependent upon a man, her husband. But when you’re single, it is really all about you.
Here’s how it all began: I had recently moved to Los Angeles to pursue my acting career. Which, as a person who had repeatedly failed miserably at dating I was more than happy to give. No, I was not about to put anything related to my REAL self out there. A couple of days later at dinner with Lauri and some other girlfriends I logged back on to Ok Cupid and was shocked to find HUNDREDS of messages to “tracylovescats”. The experiment was later turned into a live stage show called Undateable which was to run at Second City Hollywood for three months (it’s still running three years later). But I want to get back go the basics and tell you about the experiment itself.
But, in reality, I was spending most of my time trying to make ends meet by working 10 independent contractor jobs, missing my friends back in Chicago, and eating homemade cookie dough every night to feel better. I was sitting at my computer transcribing a ghost hunting reality show called Fact or Faked (Hint, it’s almost always FAKED). Did Lauri think that I needed to go ONLINE to find dates? Relieved to take a break from transcription I logged onto Ok Cupid (a popular free online dating site) for the first time. I was stubborn and I believed in finding true love the old-fashioned way. And after years of co-dependent habits and secret relationships (“Don’t tell anyone we’re together so that I can still play the field & none of the other girls I’m dating will find out about each other”) — well, obviously, my methods were working out GREAT for me… And I was bored and looking for an excuse to procrastinate work. I mean, seriously, how could anyone believe that was a real, three-dimensional living breathing person? And we later built out an expanded version of the show called #Date Me: An Ok Cupid Experiment which has been running for a year and a half and is on it’s 8th remount at the UP Comedy Club in Chicago. Log in each week as I present you with experiment findings, characters that didn’t make the live stage show, unbelievable conversations with REAL people talking to our FAKE characters, and much much more.
If you’ve never enjoyed being single, I’m sorry, I think you may be doing it wrong (and maybe bought into some of the patriarchal myths about being single). Good, long-term friends provide you with companionship, emotional support, and genuine love without strings attached. The feminist movement has made great strides in changing the way people think about partnering by creating space for discussion around healthy relationships, utilizing gender-education to inspire more egalitarian partnerships, and fighting for marriage equality.
They relish their dates with you but don’t expect to see you all the time. Because of this, many women today are engaged in loving and gratifying partnerships and this is a beautiful thing!
And as the above memes so poignantly demonstrate, we still do! It is a political statement, a refuge from sexism, and an opportunity to show that women can be self-sufficient (Boston marriages, anyone? It’s also psychologically, emotionally, physically, and mentally just plain good for you. Find your bliss, find your passion, find your SELF. This is true if you’re single for a short period or as a deliberate life choice. History is brimming with smart, independent women who never wore a ring or identified themselves as being a partner to someone else. (It tastes like oppression and it’s way past its expiration date) This idea that this one person has to be our sex partner, financial partner, co-parent, and primary emotional support, while we do all of this for them, is simply not for everybody.